


Excuses

by drunknpylades



Series: edge of memory [6]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Kidfic, Lack of Communication, M/M, Memory Related, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 09:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13808751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drunknpylades/pseuds/drunknpylades
Summary: Pieces of the puzzle that is Cayde's kid are finally starting to line up and Edge is just trying to keep them all on the table without showing his hand. Maybe he's getting his metaphors mixed up on this one.





	Excuses

“How many times have I asked you not to call me Candy?”

Edge feels something like dread expand behind his ribs. He knows what’s coming next. Has done enough research and general scouting to know exactly what the missing pieces of this puzzle look like. There’s guilt there too. Mixed in with the dread and anxiety like poison gas filling him up and choking the words he wishes he could have said. He could have said something, anything, before today to plant that seed in Cayde. Somehow make this moment a little less painful. 

Edge has seen the journals. Seen those words on yellowed pages that speak of a man that’s lost more than just memories. He’s gone looking for them after long nights, Cayde asleep beside him and that guilt clawing at his guts like it’s a living breathing thing trying to swallow him whole. But he can’t not. It’s in his blood. Something he’s never been able to get rid of no matter how many times he’s been resurrected. That desperate need to know. To find the pieces and put them together into a picture that finally makes sense. 

Now, with Cayde at his back and Candace’s voice in his ear he’s never hated himself more. 

“Call me Ace.”

Cayde’s body goes the kind of still that usually precludes some kind of violence or absolute panic. Edge has felt that stillness all along his side in the dark. Usually right before the Exo jerks himself awake and pretends that he’s simply remembered something he forgot to do, or tries to explain away the tremble in his voice as just being too wired to sleep tonight. 

There’s no tremble now. There’s nothing. 

“Oh sure, my apologies, Miss Ace of Spades.”

Edge curses Val mentally in every language he knows. Cayde jerks against him like he’s been shot, hand tightening its grip on Edge’s hip to an almost painful degree.

“Cayde…” Edge forces a calm he doesn’t feel into his voice and presses back against the Vanguard. There’s still no other reaction other than that damned immobility. Edge would rather have a negative reaction than this nothingness. Would rather have Cayde make some excuse and avoid the situation. Would rather have him lash out, deny what’s been right in front of them this whole time. Instead he gets a bruise on his hip and a distinct lack of anything else. 

The two other Hunters pass their little alcove and Edge lets himself take his first breath in what feels like hours. Cayde is still frozen behind him and Edge reaches down to place his hand over the one still squeezing black and blue into his hip. 

“Cayde it’s not-”

“What?” Cayde’s whole body buzzes and Edge feels it in his bones. “I’m fine. Nothing going on but you and me, right?” His hand spasms open and Edge clenches his jaw against the new pain as blood rushes back up under the skin Cayde had been gripping. “No Guardians, no cards, no strange kids wandering around.”

Cayde deflects like a pro on his best days but today he’s not in the best headspace for making up excuses. Edge knows the Exo is thinking too hard on what’s just happened. Knows that this is going to be the point that changes everything depending on what happens in the next few minutes. 

“Cayde, I know.” It’s blunt and not considerate in the least but Edge has never been someone that minces his words for the sake of someone’s feelings. Even if that someone is Cayde. 

“You know?” Cayde moves a hand to his shoulder and turns Edge around so his back is to the railing, forcing him to look the other Hunter in the eye. “What do you mean, you know?”

Edge’s hands twitch at his sides. All he wants is to reach out. To offer some form of comfort and reassurance that this doesn’t change anything. Not really. “Ace,” he says easily. The fact that his voice doesn’t shake at all is a feat he’s not sure how he accomplishes. Everything else inside him is trembling with adrenaline and apprehension. Yet his voice is as clear and sure as it’s ever been. 

“Your daughter.”

That stillness returns and Edge holds his breath. 

One second. Five. Ten. 

Cayde shakes himself and takes a very deliberate step back. Every place he’d been touching Edge feels cold.

“Nope.” His voice sounds close to snapping. Brittle words about to come apart in the suddenly heavy air between them. “Not having this conversation. Not with you.”

That stings. Edge knows, hopes, he didn’t mean it the way it sounded but the words hurt all the same. The fact that Cayde is turning away from him feels like there’s a hook anchored somewhere in his chest, tugging as the Exo gets further away from him. If Edge let’s him go he gets the feeling that things may never go back to how they were.

His feet move without conscious thought and suddenly he reaching out. Grabbing Cayde by the elbow and spinning him around with more force than he’d intended.

Cayde makes a startled sound and Edge slips both hands into his hood, cupping the back of his head and dragging him in until he feels cool metal against his forehead. It’s familiar to him in a way so few things are. Familiar and safe and everything he can’t say out loud. 

This thing between them has always been complicated and unspoken and Edge is tired. Tired of not knowing what he’s feeling. Tired of Cayde always keeping things from him. But most of all he’s just tired of not being able to show his lover that he’s not going anywhere. 

When this whole affair had begun they’d both agreed to simple flirtations and a distinct lack of emotional involvement. Somewhere along the line that changed for both of them. At least, Edge hopes it’s a two way street. Here and now, in the hangar, barely out of sight and pressed against the Hunter Vanguard, Edge does more than hope. 

“Let me.” Love you. He says softly. Not that he’s actually sure what he’s asking for and hoping Cayde will understand. All he knows is that Cayde can’t do this on his own and Edge will be damned if he lets himself be pushed away. 

Cayde’s sigh sounds more aggravated than anything else and Edge knows he’s won. The Exo leans a little bit further into him and relief breaks in Edge like the first ray of sunshine after a storm. He feels warm. 

“Fine,” Cayde huffs. “Why do I always gotta fall for the stubborn ones?” You too.

“We’ll deal with it.”

Cayde groans. “Tomorrow?”

That warmth inside him blazes up with fondness and Edge rolls his eyes. Tugs Cayde back down by his hood for a kiss. 

He knows it’s not this easy. Nothing in their lives ever is. But for now it’s a distraction and they’ll deal with the rest as it comes. 

A kid. Edge thinks to himself. He’s not sure he’s built for a family.


End file.
